


The group chat AU nobody asked for

by findaplacetoloseit



Category: The Shannara Chronicles (TV)
Genre: AU, Amberle's the new kid, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, High School, Wil & Eretria are bros, idk what more do you want from me, they all annoy each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 11:47:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12681270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/findaplacetoloseit/pseuds/findaplacetoloseit
Summary: I'm trash for group chat AUs and I noticed the Shannara fandom doesn't appear to have any, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯willyboy: Hey Amberle! I'm Wil Ohlsmford, I sit next to you in English.princessamberle: Oh! Hi!willyboy: :)princessamberle: :)rovergirl: fuck off





	The group chat AU nobody asked for

**Author's Note:**

> Behold, a product of those long months spent procrastinating writing Onward. May this tide you over until I've gotten through the worst of my exams!

_new message from **rovergirl** to **willyboy**_

rovergirl: hey wil,,, dude, fam,, best bro

willyboy: you need my science notes again right?

rovergirl: how did u know

willyboy: youre not exactly subtle

rovergirl: but how did u know its 4 science

willyboy: lucky guess

rovergirl:

rovergirl: whatever u alien

willyboy: ??

rovergirl: u can reAD MINDS

willyboy: not all aliens can read minds u know

willyboy: aliens have different abilities depending on the evolution of their individual species

rovergirl: nerd

willyboy: uh insulting me isn't gonna get u these science notes

rovergirl: sure nerd now gimme

willyboy:

rovergirl: wtf u wouldnt

willyboy: bye got class

rovergirl: wtf WIL

rovergirl: im gon FAIL

rovergirl: FUCK YOU MAN

willyboy: okay! ok

willyboy: [sciencenotes.jpg]

rovergirl: lol thx loser

willyboy: why am I even friends with you?

  
___

  
_new message from **willyboy** to **rovergirl**_

willyboy: hey um

willyboy: this is a little weird but

rovergirl: bring it

willyboy: there’s a new girl in my English class and she's really nice could we maybe add her

rovergirl: ...

willyboy: to this chat?

rovergirl: bro. do u WANT 2 scare her off

willyboy: I KNOW ITS JUST I WANT TO TALK TO HER

willyboy: BUT IM TOO AWKWARD IN REAL LIFE.

willyboy: BUT IF I DM HER PRIVATELY ITLL BE WEIRD

rovergirl: so u want me,,, 2 help u make convo with nice girl

willyboy: YES

rovergirl: me,, a known introvert,,,emo,,,,scary,, not nice

willyboy: shut up, you can be nice

rovergirl: wat

willyboy: plus ur my best friend and I love you pls Eretria

willyboy: u don't even have to say much

willyboy: just don't flirt with her that's all I ask

rovergirl: pulling out the big 3 words? u must be desperate

willyboy: oh cmon Eretria of course I love you

rovergirl: uh huh, right, lay it on thick

willyboy: I do!

willyboy: But also please say yes

rovergirl: ...u gotta gimme notes when I ask

willyboy: done

rovergirl: no short jokes 4 a week

willyboy: fiiiine

rovergirl: AND 1 hersheys bar after skool

willyboy: but I don't even have my wallet on me?

rovergirl: >:(

willyboy: ok deal

rovergirl: gr8. now just get it over with

  
_**willyboy** has added **princessamberle** and **rovergirl** to group chat_

  
_**willyboy** has named group chat: **Greetings**_

 

willyboy: Hey Amberle! I’m Wil Ohlmsford, I sit next to you in English.

princessamberle: Hi! Are you the blond boy?

willyboy: Uh ye

willyboy: *yes that's me

princessamberle: Oh! Hello! :)

willyboy: I hope you don't mind, but I think you’re really nice.

willyboy: And I'd like to be your friend?

princessamberle: Okay, cool!

willyboy: :)

princessamberle: :)

rovergirl: fuck off

willyboy: Eretria!

princessamberle: Oh

  
_**rovergirl** has removed **princessamberle** from Greetings_

  
willyboy: what the hell?!

rovergirl: u didnt say she was amberle elessedil!

willyboy: bro why?? You got a problem with her?

rovergirl: fuck yea!

rovergirl: i have unfinished business w/ this bitch!!

  
_**willyboy** has added **princessamberle** to Greetings_

  
willyboy: Okay both of you please explain.

princessamberle: She’s Eretria?

rovergirl: youre Amberle

rovergirl: the homophobe

willyboy: oh

princessamberle: it was an accident!

princessamberle: I just said you looked like a dyke

willyboy: I don't mean to be rude but that's not cool

rovergirl: THANK U

rovergirl: u JUST called me dyke ahhaha

rovergirl: she fucking asked if id been to a homo rehab camp yet

willyboy:

willyboy: yikes

rovergirl: yup

princessamberle: Did I offend you? I’m sorry! My granddad says that's just where homosexuals go to get better- I just noticed you looked rather like a dyke, aka the common term for a homosexual, and I wanted to ask if you had considered going to a therapy camp to improve your mental health yet!

princessrover: Again, I'm sorry!

rovergirl: thats homophobic 

rovergirl: fuck you fuckhead

rovergirl: fuck off

princessamberle: Excuse me?

willyboy: ...Maybe this wasn't a good idea?

rovergirl: u bet ur white ass it wasnt

princessamberle: It would’ve been if your friend could accept an apology!

rovergirl: bitch

  
_**princessamberle** has left **Greetings**_

  
willyboy: so...that was eventful

rovergirl: u owe me 2 hersheys bars now

willyboy: agreed.

willyboy: meet u at the gate

  
___

  
_**willyboy** has deleted **Greetings** group chat_

  
_new message from **willyboy** to **rovergirl**_

willyboy: do you think she thought my username was weird

rovergirl: who fucking cares

  
wilohlmsford: idk

  
___

  
_new message from **rovergirl** to **wilohlmsford**_

rovergirl: where tf r u

rovergirl: hurry up the schools empty already

rovergirl: im for real gonna spend all ur spare $$

wilohlmsford: I leave you alone with my bag for 5 minutes...

rovergirl: its been 20 yrs get ur ass back here

rovergirl: tf u doing anyway,, pissing doesnt take that long

wilohlmsford: it does if you've been holding it for two hours

rovergirl: ew y

rovergirl: actually, dont answer that

wilohlmsford: gladly

  
__

  
_**wilohlmsford** created a private chat with **princessamberle**_

  
wilohlmsford: Hi, Mr Druid caught me today after school to ask if I could switch with Catania, she’s leaving for Europe next week right?

princessamberle: Yep. Looks like we’re project partners :)

wilohlmsford: Yeah. Cool.

princessamberle: By the way I'm sorry about the other day. I didn't mean to upset your friend.

wilohlmsford: I mean it was a little...

wilohlmsford: Never mind. It's okay, you apologised. She’ll get over it :)

wilohlmsford: Just don't do it again and you're in the clear haha

princessamberle: Great!

princessamberle: See you in English.

  
___

  
_**rovergirl** created a private chat with **princessamberle**_

  
rovergirl: fuck off

princessamberle: ?

rovergirl: Wil

rovergirl: hes been late 2 our halo tournaments twice this week and our team lost its victory streak

rovergirl: i know its u

princessamberle: ...We’re working on a project together, if that’s what you mean?

rovergirl: yea yea dont gimme that shit

princessamberle: Listen, I don't know what your problem is 

princessamberle: But I'm not going to steal your boyfriend!

rovergirl: not my boyfriend bitch

rovergirl: and my PROBLEM is ur a fucking rude annoying homophobe who needs to stay away from my impressionable bff. he'll blindly follow the word of any pretty girl and u r NOT going 2 get ur sick ideals into his head

princessamberle: I'm not manipulating Wil, we're working on a project together. And I apologised to you, alright, can we not just turn over a new leaf?

rovergirl: just fuck off k

princessamberle: God aren't you charming

  
___

  
_new message from **wilohlmsford** to **rovergirl**_

  
wilohlmsford: shoot sorry Eretria idk if u can come over tonight

rovergirl: y not

wilohlmsford: I have this super important project due tmrw that needs finishing

rovergirl: cant u just finish it while im there

wilohlmsford: doing homework with you is a helpless cause

rovergirl: ill try this time

rovergirl: plz bro its gonna be one of dads bad nights

wilohlmsford: is the beer out yet?

rovergirl: yea, whole crate. mum’s pics too

wilohlmsford: oh no okay just get over here

wilohlmsford: stay safe

rovergirl: kk mother

  
___

  
_new message from **wilohlmsford** to **princessamberle**_

  
wilohlmsford: Hey I’m going to have Eretria over tonight is that okay?

princessamberle: Oh. Okay.

princessamberle: Do you still want me to come, or?

wilohlmsford: Yes definitely if that's alright with you aha

wilohlmsford: I will seriously not be able to finish this project by myself.

princessamberle: Good point. See you at 4

 

___

  
_new message from **rovergirl** to **wilohlmsford**_

rovergirl: u guys r doing ur project on romeo & juliet? srsly?

wilohlmsford: its Macbeth

rovergirl: whatevs all shakespeare’s same

wilohlmsford: sure

rovergirl: so

rovergirl: is the bitch done yet i wanna play xbox

wilohlmsford: just use it ur in the living room

rovergirl: ur xbox games r lame af 1-player

rovergirl: still cant beliEVE my bro left me here alone

wilohlmsford: its the living room or my room

rovergirl: lol not talking 2 her

  
_new message from **princessamberle** to **rovergirl**_

  
princessamberle: Can you please stop texting my project partner, he’s getting distracted and all the buzzing is annoying!

  
_**rovergirl** named private chat with **princessamberle:** **Fuck Off**_

 

rovergirl: *middle finger emoji*

princessamberle: *frowny face emoji*

  
_**rovergirl** added **princessamberle** and **wilohlmsford** to a **group chat**_

  
_new message from **rovergirl** to **group chat**_

  
rovergirl: ha

rovergirl: ha

rovergirl: ha

rovergirl: i

rovergirl: hope

rovergirl: these

rovergirl: texts

rovergirl: on

rovergirl: both

rovergirl: ur

rovergirl: phones

rovergirl: hurt

rovergirl: her

rovergirl: ears

princessamberle: What the hell?

rovergirl: ooh princess got spunk

wilohlmsford: Eretria be quiet Im trying to study

rovergirl: aint no law against free speech

princessamberle: There is now

rovergirl: lol she thinks she can make the rules

princessamberle: ...

rovergirl: ha

rovergirl: ha

rovergirl: ha

princessamberle: Can you please just not??

rovergirl: i do wat i want

wilohlmsford: Eretria, she’s gripping her phone really hard

wilohlmsford: I’d suggest shutting up

rovergirl: she rly wanna go huh? she wanna fight a dyke?

rovergirl: y not just send me 2 a conversion therapy camp instead huh

rovergirl: itd be easier. id get hurt more

rovergirl: that's wat u want, rite?

princessamberle: Oh my god I didn't mean it

rovergirl: how convenient there’s special lil torture centres 4 ppl like me

rovergirl: that u can just ship me off 2 if i get 2 annoying

princessamberle: That's not...I just

rovergirl: sayin i should be in a homo rehab camp is sayin i should be tortured cos i like girls

rovergirl: saying I should get the lesbian beaten outta me

rovergirl: its a fucking physcotic thing 2 say

princessamberle: I didn't know they were torture camps!

princessamberle: My granddad always told me that's just where gay people go to get better

princessamberle: I'm sorry

rovergirl: fuck off

  
_**rovergirl** has removed **princessamberle** from **group chat**_

  
wilohlmsford: yikes

  
_**rovergirl** has deleted **group chat**_

  
___

  
_new message from **princessamberle** to **Fuck Off** private chat_

  
princessamberle: again, I'm really sorry. I was uneducated and I've now done research on conversion therapy to enlighten myself. I still personally believe homosexuality is wrong but you shouldn't be tortured for it.

rovergirl: wat do u not get about fuck off? ?

  
___

  
_**rovergirl** to **Best Bros** private chat_

  
rovergirl: [amberlesdumbassapology.png]

wilohmlsford: u don't need to be so rude all the time u know

rovergirl: dude im ur gay bff™

rovergirl: and ur sayin i dont need 2 be rude when sum kid tells me being gay is wrong??

wilohlmsford: ok fair point

  
___

  
_new message from **wilohlmsford** to **princessamberle**_

  
wilohlmsford: We finished the project! Couldn't have done it without you pal :D

princessamberle: Why are you being so nice to me? I literally told your best friend she should be in a torture camp??

wilohlmsford: It was a simple mistake, don’t beat yourself up over it

wilohlmsford: you got enough beating up from Eretria

princessamberle: I guess you're right.

princessamberle: And we did! Let's hope for an A+!

wilohlmsford: :D

___

 

...

_ one week later _

...

 

___

  
_**wilohlmsford** added **princessamberle** and **rovergirl** to group chat_

  
_**wilohlmsford** named group chat: **Make Up**_

  
wilohlmsford: okay both of you need to make up and play nice please

rovergirl: ?

princessamberle: ?

rovergirl: dont copy me

princessamberle: I don't take orders from you

wilohlmsford: see this is EXACTLY what I mean!

wilohlmsford: you guys have been at each other’s throats all week

wilohlmsford: and as someone who is TRYING to be friends with both of you

rovergirl: tf u mean im the bff i trump her

wilohlmsford: Eretria, this isn't about who trumps who

princessamberle: Ha

rovergirl: die

wilohlmsford: It’s about equality

wilohlmsford: I can't hang out with one of you without getting verbally tortured for hanging out with the other!!

rovergirl: lol not just tortured verbally 

princessamberle: Please stop displaying your mating processes in front of me.

wilohlmsford: Yes Eretria I regret ever encouraging u to take that wrestling class

wilohlmsford: wait what

rovergirl: wut

princessamberle: Never mind

wilohlmsford: Ok so my point is make a truce! Become buddies, whatever, just please get over it. I don't want to be stuck in the middle of this stupid rivalry anymore.

princessamberle: But how am I supposed be be friends with HER?

rovergirl: ur not bitch

princessamberle: Don't call me that

rovergirl: whatevs

rovergirl: its 1 or the other wil

rovergirl: no way in fuckin hell Im playing nice w/ her

princessamberle: ^

princessamberle: The only thing I'll ever agree on with Eretria.

wilohlmsford: Well then

wilohlmsford: really don't want to do this but

wilohlmsford: I choose neither.

princessamberle: ?

rovergirl: ??

wilohlmsford: I'm not going to be friends with either of you until you both get your act together ok

wilohlmsford: just grow up

rovergirl: wtf

rovergirl: wtf WIL

princessamberle: You're not serious?

wilohlmsford: Bye.

rovergirl: WIL

princessamberle: Wil?

  
_new message from **rovergirl** to **Best Bros** private chat_

  
rovergirl: WHAT THE FUCK

rovergirl: U CANT DO THIS

wilohlmsford: watch me

  
_new message from **princessamberle** to **Fuck Off** private chat_

  
princessamberle: He’s kidding right?

rovergirl: he better be or im gonna break ur fuckin neck

  
___

  
_new message from **rovergirl** to **Fuck Off** private chat_

  
rovergirl: im gonna break ur fuckin neck!!

princessamberle: That's called manslaughter, you'll get arrested

rovergirl: dont care.

rovergirl: wil hasnt talked 2 me all day for the 1st time since i stole his crayons in preschool

rovergirl: not 1 txt

princessamberle: He hasn't talked to me either

rovergirl: didnt fuckin ask

princessamberle: Bitch.

rovergirl: MOTHERFUCKER

rovergirl: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT

rovergirl: U BETTER WATCH UR FUCKING BACK

rovergirl: BECAUSE IM COMIGN FOR YOU

princessamberle: Okay calm down, I'm not happy about this either but he’ll get over it I'm sure

rovergirl: DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

rovergirl: I WILL RIP ALL THE BONES FROM YOUR BODY, YOU ENTITLED BITCH.

princessamberle: God, I was just trying to be civil?

  
_new message from **princessamberle** to **wilohlmsford**_

  
princessamberle: You're not actually going through with this, are you?

princessamberle: Wil?

wilohlmsford: Yes, I am.

princessamberle: Are you sure? Eretria’s been screaming at me over text, she's really upset.

princessamberle: And English today was kind of lonely.

wilohlmsford: Yeah, she's sent me a hundred messages. This isn't very easy for me either.

wilohlmsford: But it's the right thing to do.

princessamberle: I guess so.

___

  
_new message from **rovergirl** to **Best Bros** private chat_

  
rovergirl: 3 days

rovergirl: u asshole

wilohlmsford: wouldn't have to do this if you'd just make up with Amberle

___

  
_new message from **princessamberle** to **Fuck Off** private chat_

  
princessamberle: Are you the one who left eggs in my locker?

rovergirl: wat do u think

princessamberle: ...

princessamberle: I could report you for that.

rovergirl: im not scared of no teacher

princessamberle: Oh so you are scared of teachers?

princessamberle: Beware double negatives

rovergirl: u kno wat I meant bitch

princessamberle: Sure

rovergirl: fuck off

  
___

  
_new message from **rovergirl** to **Best Bros** private chat_

  
rovergirl: halo tournament’s over. our team lost, if u care

wilohmsford: you decided to play nice with Amberle yet?

rovergirl:

wilohlmsford: guess I don't care then.

  
___

  
_new message from **princessamberle** to **Fuck Off** private chat_

  
princessamberle: Okay this egg thing really needs to stop

princessamberle: You’ve done it four times now? The janitor’s starting to think I'm being bullied

rovergirl: thats cos,, u r

princessamberle: I've apologised, I haven't confronted you in days, what more do you want?

rovergirl: get me my bf back

princessamberle: The only thing that’ll get your boyfriend back is a truce, remember?

rovergirl: *bff ugh I forgot one f

rovergirl: truce? yea nah

princessamberle: Why did I even ask?

princessamberle: And you can drop the “bff” excuse around me, I already know you and Wil are dating

princessamberle: Were dating? I don't know

rovergirl: not dating

princessamberle: ?

rovergirl: ...im gay. u know im gay. very lesbian

princessamberle: Yes but didn't you make an exception for Wil?

princessamberle: I mean you've gotten so torn up about him

princessamberle: You've repeatedly egged my locker because he isn't talking to you

rovergirl: u dont understand

princessamberle: Well help me to or I'm going to continue being accidentally homophobic

princessamberle: which I know you don't want.

rovergirl:

rovergirl: fine.

rovergirl: wil’s been my best friend since we were both in diapers. hes always there when im gonna fail a test or when im sick or when i dont have anywhere else to go cos my house isnt safe with dad drunk. he was there when mum died. and when dad quit his job, stopped caring bout much but drugs & drink. wil got me 2 stop cutting.

rovergirl: he’s not blood but he's family.

princessamberle: Oh

rovergirl: n now, Ive lost him cos of some preppy ass bitch hes known 4 a month,,

rovergirl: hope ur proud of urself

princessamberle: oh Eretria I'm so sorry I didn't know

rovergirl: ur apologies r utter bullshit.

princessamberle: Sorry

princessamberle: Feel free to egg my locker.

  
___

  
_new message from **rovergirl** to **Best Bros** private chat_

  
rovergirl: kinda miss u loser

wilohlmsford: Hey, you playing nice yet?

rovergirl: she said i could egg her locker and i didnt

rovergirl: ? good enough?

wilohlmsford: Did you not egg it because you were trying to be good?

wilohlmsford: or were you just trying to be good enough?

rovergirl: woa deep

wilohlmsford: just answer the question Eretria

rovergirl:

rovergirl: idk

wilohlmsford: Well you need to be better. but thanks for being honest.

wilohlmsford: I miss you too

  
_new message from **princessamberle** to **wilohlmsford**_

  
princessamberle: [FuckOffprivatechat-screenshot.jpg]

princessamberle: Not as many insults this time

wilohlmsford: it's a start.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Whatcha think, guys?


End file.
